Can You Pay My Bills?

Yesterday I got into a conversation with a friend about why I am moving back to Pittsburgh. I told her I was moving against my will but in accordance with my financial situation. Our conversation went a little something like this:

Her: I know what you mean...money is king!
Me: Haha, I know!
Her: I mean, Jesus is King, but you know what I mean ;-)
Me: Yeah but Jesus ain't paying my rent, so yes, I know what you mean!
Her: But Jesus DOES pay your rent :-)

Hmmm? Really? Does Jesus pay my rent? If Jesus pays my rent, why in the hell do I have to work? Maybe the sentiment points to a belief that Jesus provides the job or even more generally, our provisions. Okay, then why do I have to send out resumes and cover letters, and why even bother with references? Or what do I make of Jesus' provisions given the fact that 12 percent of the state of California is out of work and thus having a hard time paying their rent?

As I enter my own season of job hunting so that I can make money and pay my own rent, I should just put "Jesus" as my reference. Yeah, that will get me the job, and the rent money.

Danielleworld

I come from a long line of debaters, arguers, and opinionated hot heads. In my family, religion and politics WERE acceptable topics for dinner time conversation. My family is directly responsible for my love and admiration for critical dialogue, and healthy exchanges of different opinions. Key word being HEALTHY.

With that said, it comes to no surprise that I received an email today from a beloved, well intentioned uncle of mine who is notorious for sending viral email forwards about things like supporting our troops, keeping prayer in school, and pro-life stances. We disagree on pretty much everything, yet he continues to send me the emails. At one point I sent him an email clarifying that if he continues to send me forwards I will take them as an invitation to engage in discussion about the topics raised. He still sent them, so I took them as invitations to respond. I usually don't respond unless whatever he sends REALLY pushes my buttons. Today he sent one of those emails that pushed me over the edge.

As usual the subject line read "You'll love this one."

The title of the post was "Teacher Applicant." To read the actual forward click here: http://wilk4.com/humor/humorm339.htm

The gist of the message is that a teacher humorously responds to the varied, plentiful, and excessively unrealistic expectations placed upon him/her by concluding, "You want me to do all of this and yet you expect me NOT TO PRAY !?!?"

The whole issue of prayer in school is extremely frustrating for me. 1. Because as a Christian I support the Constitution, and I believe that the government should do all that is within its power to preserve our religious freedom by not supporting state established religious beliefs or practices. That means, if you work for a public institution you are an employee of the state which means in essence, you represent the state (government.) Therefore it is a conflict of interest (that interest being our constitutional rights) for a representative of the state to issue prayer whether it be to a Christian God, Muslim God, or general purposes God. I believe that supporting this aspect of our constitution limits the likelihood that I will have to bow to a god I don't believe in nor will I be subject to listen or participate in a prayer that goes against my beliefs, should there be a shift in the majority of religious preferences in our country.

In a "Reply All" response to my uncle, I tried to articulate this point. I tried to explain my support of the Constitution and each American's right to religious freedom, but I also tried to express that I didn't believe that anyone, individual or otherwise could ever take away my ability to pray. I may not be able to kneel down in front of my class with hands clasped, head bowed, reciting the Rosary, but I can certainly say ten hail Mary's while my students are on their lunch break or to myself when I see a young student who I know is having troubles at home.

My uncle did not agree...which did not come as a surprise to me, nor did his rebuttal. He vehemently disagreed, but he did not in any way disrespect me in the expression of his disagreement. (Something my family is very good at!)

What did come as a surprise to me was the email I got from my uncle's priest who was included in the forward, and included in my "Reply All" comment. After I sent my uncle an admittedly heartfelt inquiry and challenging critique of his views on prayer in school, I get this:

"How else does God work in Danielleworld? Does God belittle people through condescending emails in Danielleworld?

Reverend James B. Farnan, BS, STL
Diocese of Pittsburgh
St. Thomas More Parish"

-Word for word that is what he sent to me in an email. Nothing more, nothing less. Mind you, I do not know this priest at all. I know that he was the same priest who responded indifferently, yet somewhat respectfully to another email exchange between my uncle and me, but other than that...I don't know him.

I couldn't help but think that this priest got a little snippy with me. I mean, am I crazy or did he get snippy? The more I read his email, the more it bothered me, and the more it bothered me, the more impossible it became to give him the benefit of the doubt. I couldn't help but fixate on the fact that he had approached me via email in a way that did not communicate a mature interest in critical thinking or an exchange of ideas. What was his purpose afterall???

To be fair, it is possible that to someone who is not familiar with how my family engages with topics like these, it may seem like I was harsh toward my uncle. I am willing to let you be the judge. This is what I sent my uncle:

"Dear Uncle S,

Does that mean if your daughters attended a public school and had a Muslim teacher who led the class in a prayer or prayed out loud to the class, asking all the students to bow toward Mecca, and closed the prayer by saying, "Praised be to Allah," you'd be okay with that?

NO ONE is telling teachers they can't pray. Schools and teachers just can't institute prayer for the students they teach. That protects your children from being led in a Muslim, Jewish, or Buddhist prayer if they had a Muslim, Jewish, or Buddhist teacher you know.

If Christians truly have God in their hearts, minds, and souls, there is no stopping the inward communication between them and God. Christians have to stop allowing themselves to be limited by policies that don't actually limit them! Prayer is a state of mind and being that no outward institution can ever govern. Ever. Why can't Christians live into that reality and stop wasting time about this no prayer in school stuff. Does God only answer your prayers if you have a formal time at school where you can kneel and pray the Rosary? I truly don't think that's how God works.

luv ya
danielle"

In my best effort to objectively look at my email, I see some harsh critique, yes. I also see me, trying to play devil's advocate with my uncle who I KNOW would not be cool with his kids bowing to Mecca. That "luv ya, Danielle" at the end is not sarcasm! I am used to being able to duke it out with my uncles regarding our beliefs, and can sincerely say "I love you" at the end of the day, and mean it.

I would venture to say that Fr. Farnan's family dinners may not have been similar to mine. I am okay with that. I am not okay with someone not being able to express their disagreement like a mature, respectful adult, ESPECIALLY when you are supposed to have a God given calling to shepherd the flock!!! Am I not part of that flock Fr. Farnan??? Are my opinions not even worth your consideration or "redirection" if they are so blatantly wrong?

What is really sad about this is that I think the whole prayer in school issue is a good conversation, and one that is worth having. I also think that I bring a very reasonable and faith based argument to a table that is seemingly closed off to liberal, baby killing homo-lovers like myself. I guess Fr. Farnan is more concerned about dissecting the theories of God, prayer, etc as they exist in Danielleworld. I guess I can't totally blame the guy, I mean I do know my shit.

Since he is a man of the cloth who probably believes that "whatsoever he shall asketh, he shall receive," I did my best to provide him with clarification as well as an answer to his questions. They read:

"Dear Fr. Farnan,
I am not sure what the context of your email is but let me clarify a few things: I have a close relationship with my family and we often engage in heated and challenging discussions. My uncle knows me well, and hopefully he knows that while I may disagree with him on SO MANY things, I love and respect him very much and would never condescend to him under any circumstance-at least not intentionally-and if I have done so unintentionally I would quickly see to it that my true intentions were made known. Based on many conversations I have had with my uncle in the past, the info/questions I posed are very sincere and equally critical of what I perceive as inconsistencies on his part. It is in the tradition of my family, and our passionate, opinionated, hot-headed nature to call each other out on stuff we disagree with, as he will likely do in return. And I welcome it.

You however, do not know me well enough to understand my approach to honest critical dialogue, and you have not (in my opinion) earned the right to talk to me in the manner that you have in this email.

I will answer you this though, in "Danielleworld," the work of God is not revealed to me through priests like you.

You have given me excellent blog material though, so thanks."

There you have it. A snippet of how critical dialogue and God "works" (or doesn't) in Danielleworld! I meant it when I told him that he has given me excellent blog material. In fact, it's like he hand delivered oodles of blog material on a silver platter wrapped in Parchment paper with my favorite Bible verse and the world "Danielleworld" inscribed in Greek.

Now I can only hope and pray for more Divine Revelation of God's wisdom as it pertains to my own little Danielleworld. I promise to let you know what she tells me.