Proposition 8 Revisited: Lesson Learned

A couple of weeks ago I posted a link on Facebook to a blog concerning Proposition 8, a measure being voted upon in the state of California. In the simplest of terms, a “yes” vote to Prop 8 is a “no” vote to same-sex marriage, and a “no” vote to Prop 8 is a “yes” vote to same-sex marriage-in our state.

When I first heard of Proposition 8 I knew I was voting against it, but I didn’t think much about making that decision public. I don’t think much about publicizing my views on any of the Propositions, partly because I think people should be educating themselves on these issues, and I also think people are exhausted and burnt out by the back and forth arguing over politics. I also think that when it comes to gay rights, no matter where you stand on the spectrum, people tend to be pretty set in their ways (wisdom has taught me to choose my battles).

That all changed when I read one woman’s story on Alphwoman.com. This woman eloquently shared from the heart her desires to build a family with her children and the love of her life in a way that would be validated not by the church, but by the state. Hearing her story and her struggle hit a nerve for me and prompted me to share her post on my Facebook page. Her perspective (for me) put a face on the issue. She humanized it, and made it more than just a matter of opinion. Since I was already planning to vote “no” on Prop 8 (in support of same sex marriage) I sent her a note telling her I would be thinking of her family when I voted on Nov. 4. She replied with gratitude and it was a lovely exchange.

I posted the article as a newsfeed onto my Facebook profile and to my surprise, no one responded. Usually a touchy subject like same-sex marriage is sure to ruffle some feathers, but this time around it didn’t so it kind of faded out of my mind. I continued to stand by my decision to vote “no” on Prop 8 though. I should also note, I had no interaction or feedback from that post that would prepare me for what I experienced today.

While I was at work today, sitting behind the front desk of an on campus office at my school (Fuller Theological Seminary), a woman approached me for direction to another office. I gave her the guidance and off she went. About ten minutes later (or so) she came back to my desk and pointed out that she recognized my name and asked if I was the same woman who posted my views about Proposition 8 online. Stunned by her memory I confirmed my identity. She then proceeded to ask me (in a seemingly patronizing tone) if I was fully aware of what I was voting for, to which my answer was, “Yes.” She then continued to tell me in an almost urgent tone a litany reasons why I should “yes” to Prop 8.

Her position led me to suspect that she has been greatly influenced by the commercials sponsored by various groups including Focus on the Family, which are scaring people into thinking that their children are going to learn how to be gay in school. I also gathered that she held very strong convictions that were very different than mine. From that point I simply decided to disengage from debate and told her that I have made an informed decision to vote “No” on Prop 8. I also acknowledged that this is often an emotional issue and one that she and I will not agree on.

She appeared to be frustrated, and a little angry. She had that nervous tremble in her voice that I often get when my adrenaline is pumping and her face was getting red. She then ended the conversation by sharing that she wanted to make sure I ‘understood’ what Prop 8 was about because she couldn’t believe that “someone from ‘Fuller’” would take such a stance.

This interaction offended and saddened me to the core of my being in a variety of ways.

1. This woman, whom I don’t even know went out of her way to tell me to my face that I am wrong.
2. She assumed that my position was ill-informed
3. She arrogantly positioned herself as a person who “knows clearly” what God says.
4. She is a complete stranger who took it upon herself to engage in an antagonistic conversation at my place of employment.
5. Her closing remarks in our conversation were nothing short of insulting.

What is additionally disturbing is that I am pretty sure this woman is not on Facebook, and if she is, she is not on my friend list. I’d like to think that maybe someone passed my post along for the sake of informing others or for the sake of engaging in dialogue regardless of where they stand on the issue, but the jaded cynic in me thinks that one of my Fuller “brothers” or “sisters” didn’t have the gumption to challenge my opinion or choices directly, and instead used my post to form and inform some kind of an opposing allegiance. I really truly hope I am wrong.

Whatever the case, I would like to take this opportunity to make a couple of things clear:

1. Fuller Theological Seminary is not a static entity and just because I go here and work here doesn't mean I adhere to all of the positions that Fuller adheres to as an institution. Fuller is a place where many people are in the process of looking at a variety of issues with critical reflection and diverse perspectives. We do not agree on all things. In fact, I am pretty sure many people are attracted to Fuller for that very reason.
2. Not everyone agrees that the Bible is “clear” about the things we have grown to believe are clear. This does not mean that those of us who are critical questioners are less “Christian” or less in tune with God. It means we think and interpret things differently. Throughout our history Christians have disagreed over valid hermeneutical and cultural concerns. Views on homosexuality are based on valid hermeneutical concerns, and should not simply or flippantly be dismissed as a disobedience or sin issue.

I was going to continue this post by defending my position on Prop 8, but I truly believe that where I stand on the matter is irrelevant to the core issue of my interaction today. The core issue is that for some, politics and religion seem to have become more important than person and relationship. The woman who came to my desk today did not respectfully show an interest in me as a person, nor did she care to learn about what has shaped my views. She was hell bent on “informing” my vote in a way that sure felt like she wanted me to change it.

I sense that many Christians are concerned that gay people are going to destroy the “decency and morality of marriage” (a positively stunning viewpoint- in light of the fact that heteros are doing just fine destroying marriage all by themselves) and because of aggressive fear based marketing, believe that gay people are setting forth on an agenda to pervert our school systems and make little girls want to “marry princesses.” These assertions are problematic for me because they do not reflect the real relationships in my life with people who do love someone of the same gender. Those relationships and experiences matter.

I do believe that the woman who visited me today is motivated by a sincere desire to do right by God. In a perfect world she would understand that she is not the only one that is trying to do right by God in this life. She is not the only one asking questions, and she is not the only one doing her research. In a perfect world she would understand that similar motivations to 'do right by God' by humans, have in the past, and will continue to yield different conclusions among people who do in fact claim to hear from the same God. Just ask the Catholics and the Protestants in Ireland about that.

In that same perfect world she would also understand that if she ever wanted to express the love of God to me, she would have at least invited me for a cup of coffee before beating me over the head, at my place of employment with her politics. I guess the lesson learned today is that we don’t live in a perfect world.

Religulous

I am a huge Bill Maher fan. If you don't know who Bill Maher is, you may want to crawl out from under that rock you've been living under and check out his website. I don't agree with everything he says or stands for, but I do admire the guy, and appreciate his commitment to critical thinking. And who doesn't like an intelligent guy who says pretty much whatever is on his mind? Even though he is somewhat arrogant and downright mocking at times, he's not just some irrational spout of one-sided opinions that seems to overload our current political milieu in the media these days. Don't get me wrong, you know from the get go where Maher stands on issues, but he is not easily boxed into one category, and he doesn't seem to turn away from well informed differences of opinion. -That is why I like him. Needless to say, when I heard he was coming out with a comedic documentary about religion I literally counted down the days until its release.

I finally got to see it this Saturday, and let me tell you, it met and exceeded my expectations. Not only did I find a kindred spirit in Bill Maher (a doubting cynic) I was able to see on a grand scale that much of my spiritual wrestlings are not only valid, but thanks to Maher, they are well articulated, and now shared on the silver screen!

Throughout the movie Maher sets out on a pilgrimage of sorts to find out why people believe what they believe, and more importantly he seeks questions their alleged "certainty" regarding those beliefs. Including various small towns, Christian churches, and bookstores in America, he visits the Mormon's Brigham Young University in Salt Lake City, Utah, The Vatican in Rome, The (actual) Holy Land, and the commercialized version, "The Holy Land Experience" in Orlando Florida. He visits Muslim temples, speaks to Catholic priests, Rabbis, Ex-gay ministers, tourists at the "the Holy Land Experience" and of course has a conversation with Jesus...well two Jesuses actually.

From the very beginning of the movie, despite Maher's contempt for "organized" religion, I got the impression that his aim in making this movie was not just to mock people of faith (although he is a comedian, so do expect that) his aim was to ask questions of people who "believe" without being informed and to basically ask the age old epistemological question, "how do you know?"

Maher asks various people of various faiths how they reconcile exceeding ambiguities and contradictions in their particular traditions only to be faced with denial, ignorance, or defensiveness across the board. It is alarming how many people's religious beliefs are based on assumptions which are somehow substituted or misconstrued as faith.

Woven throughout the movie are quotes that remind viewers of atrocities committed in the name of religion, as well as factoids regarding the un-uniqueness of the Genesis account in the Bible. It made me wonder, if Christians stopped denying, and really started understanding how many prototypical "Creation stories" came before the one that appears in Genesis, how would they respond? Why don't people have a general awareness that the Christian story of Creation is pretty likely a "shared" (and by shared I mean plagiarized) story found in other ancient texts that pre-date the Bible? It seems as though we are completely okay with just ignoring those facts. I, like Bill Maher, am not okay with that kind of denial, especially considering that Christians base their entire theologies around the Genesis account of creation, humanity, sin, and the need for redemption, as if it is an historical document. The fact that about 4 or 5 strikingly similar stories came before the Creation Story in Genesis tells me that it (brace yourself) MAY BE a myth. Not a myth without meaning, but still a myth.

It's funny how people who have raised such questions throughout history have been called heretics, cynics, or lunatics. I mean, let's be real, Maher may be one of the more accessible, humorous and popular cynics at the moment, but he certainly isn't the first, and he certainly is not asking any new questions or raising any new criticism that hasn't been raised for centuries. What he is successfully doing in this film though is expressing the same old questions of a cynic within our current context. To me, the irony is that in the midst of criticizing blind faith and ignorant spirituality, he becomes a prophetic voice, albeit crass and lewd, but prophetic nonetheless.

It's funny, but not funny haha, more like funny sad to see that in the midst of hearing painful truths, we are so afraid to confront what might not add up, that we instead choose to accept a cheap and constructed fantasy rather than the purpose, value and meaning of the story.

One of the things I loathe about Bill Maher is that he is very into the whole Playboy Bunny Ranch scene, which to me is the antithesis of intelligentsia. But after I saw the movie and realized that much of what religious folk believe can be seen as fantasy, I realized that going to church on Sunday for some, serves the same purpose as going to the bunny ranch for Maher. We are more content with creating and participating in a fantasy in order to feel better, look better etc, have our egos (among other things) stroked that we don't care to ask the deep penetrating questions that may shatter our created worlds our erroneous perceptions of our faith texts, and reveal our own participation in hypocrisy, fallacy, misogyny, injustice, etc.

None of this means that I discredit faith, hope, or belief in God. On the contrary, I do believe that there is something more fascinating and mysterious about this existence than I can comprehend. I am okay with calling that something a God. But like Maher, I am not okay with making certain assertions that we know why we are here, or what happens to us when we die, what God looks like, what his name is, or who he wants us to vote for. I am not comfortable laying out a "plan" that defines an imperfect condition of humanity that requires me to jump through a bunch of dogmatic hoops for the rest of my life just so I can be "saved."

The fact of the matter is that we don't know. The fact of the matter is that a people of faith (if they are informed-and by informed I mean educated in their tradition in a way that includes a broader historical context) can gain the respect of critical thinkers if they acknowledge the truth about their beliefs, how they are informed, how their faith texts have been formed, and the reality of how those beliefs have played out in history.

I have come to define myself as an agnostic theist with Christian tendencies. That means I believe there is an undeniable mystery and power called God, that there is a profound significance to the biblical narrative, and I do believe there is a timelessness and continuity to the Christian message of hope, restoration, journey, rebirth, and community that parallels life narratives of all people. I can't say I "know" these things, but I can say that based on reasonable observation and study of Scripture in the original languages (yes I'm bragging dammit), intuitive responses to the ebb and flow of life, and a wealth of historical information that my beliefs are in fact informed. I mean can you prove love? Can you quantify beauty? Can you measure the pain that inflicts the broken hearted? These are things that we rely on art, music, and literature to communicate and reveal or express. To me, faith in the supernatural is similar. It's when we look at our sources of information (say the Bible) and read it in a way it is not meant to be read, apply it to a constructed theology, and then hold people to it, by any means necessary that create the problems seen in Maher's movie.

Further, if we take Maher's word for it, faithful=irrational, ignorant, and violent, and non-religiously affiliated are more likely the educated elite. That distinction is so yesterday Bill!

I will say that Maher fairly reveals that it ain't the smart, thoughtful, selfless, wise, and humble Christians that hold the oppressive power in this country!

In Hebrew culture, story was significant. It carried the power to preserve tradition, it transformed, it brought hope, it healed. One man in the film who is really stuck on prescriptives is building a creationist museum that depicts a world that was created 5-6000 years ago where humans and dinosaurs coexisted together. Why? because the Genesis "story" has to be historical and literal to him for any of the rest of it to have any meaning. He is unable to see the power of story as a valid entity in and of itself.

Does such a view point nullify the importance or significance of the Bible or some of the specifics that some Christians think should be "non-negotiables"? I don't think so. I am an artist, and I have a profound respect for the power of "story." There is something significant about human being's need for story to explain life, and I think we desperately, emphatically need it. The story of the Bible brings hope and strength to continue in this oft cruel world. Does it matter if the stories are historical? I don't know. I think a better question to ask is "Do I understand the genre and cultural context of the particular text I am reading and how or does it apply to my context today?" I do wonder if the stories are simply meant to inspire, bring hope, and belief that the old can become new. Many folks in Maher's film (and even Maher himself) are stuck in the prescriptive world. They want the scientific methods of modernism to apply to the power of narrative, and they simply don't, never did, never will.

What is touching about this film (besides the conversation with Maher's adorable mother) is that Maher admits candidly that he is not an atheist. He admits that he just doesn't know. I think it takes profound strength and honesty to admit such a thing.

There are many people, I am sure who will judge this movie before giving it a chance, which I think is very unfortunate, because it is invaluable on many levels. One, it challenges believers of the major faiths to consider the full historical and political contexts of their own traditions, and it two, it enables them to understand what their beliefs look like to an outsider.

It's good stuff. Go see it.